Two years.

It's been two years now since I started this blog. Well.. one could kind of laugh at that statement since I have not really been present on the blog at all for most of that time, but somehow I really like the thought of blogging and think it might be the perfect thing for me if I could find my pace. Writing down my thoughts and experiences has been a part of me since I was very little. I filled endless books and papers with random stories and comments on everything when I was a teenager and the urge to do that has never left me. Somehow I could not get used to writing here. Even though two years aren't much it still hits me how much everything has changed since I published my first post. Back then I was kind of lost. I didn't really know who I was or what I wanted. For 8 months now I've been analyzing myself in a way that I have not done before and I feel like I am finding my ground. The process is not over by half and I know I will get to know myself better each day, but for now I feel like I've done a hell of a job during this time discovering who I am and what I want to do with it. It might be that in not knowing who I really was I was focusing to much on what I might want others to see me as. It made me anxious and afraid. At times I dreaded writing a post on here because I feared I might come out as a silly little girl who wants to follow a trend. Possibly that is who I am.. A silly little girl. But now I want to be truer to myself. Maybe it won't get me followers, but at least I'll enjoy it.